"Your cover is your calling card to the record industry and to the consumer...how well you design it and the other graphics for your release could well determine your success or failure as a musician."
It's a damn shame that some of these artists obviously didn't consult him prior to the release of these, the 20 worst album covers in the history of music.
20 - David Cassidy - The Higher They Climb (The Harder They Fall)
According to Wikipedia, the title of this, the former Partridge Family star's fifth solo release, was meant to allude to the fact that his career had taken a bit of a nose dive as of late. Unfortunately, this cover did little to help turn things around for him.
19 - Rick James - Throwin' Down
As I'm sure you'll see later on in this post, some of the worst album covers of all time feature musicians modelling themselves on Conan the Barbarian. Even Rick James couldn't pull it off, and he's a superfreak.
18 - Waylon Jennings - Ladies Love Outlaws
Ladies might love an outlaw, but perhaps kids shouldn't.
I know that this particular album was made in more innocent times, but still, I think the least said about this one the better.
17 - Whitesnake - Lovehunter
Former Deep Purple star David Coverdale's Whitesnake used this particular image of a woman dry-humping a giant, uum, Whitesnake to sell this, their third studio album.
16 - Saxon - Saxon
British heavy metal legends Saxon scored a top-ten in the UK with this, their debut album. Still, I'd sooner admit to having an edition of Dungeons and Dragons than this particular album, based purely on the cover.
15 - Eddie Murphy - Love's Alright
Eddie Murphy has done some pretty awesome things in his time (think Beverly Hills Cop, 48 Hours, his stand-up concerts) but he also made Meet Dave. And Norbit. And this.
14 - A Flock of Seagulls - Dream Come True
This horrific cover manages to incorporate most of the worst parts of the 1980s. Garish colours, naff suits and, yip, frontman Mike Score's infamously bad haircut.
13 - Tom Jones - a-Tom-ic Jones
Here, the Welsh crooner sings away, seemingly unaware that an atomic bomb goes off behind him. Either that or he just let one off. Would have worked better for his sex-bomb single. In all seriousness.
12 - Manowar - Blow Your Speakers
Remember what I said earlier about dressing up like Conan the Barbarian? And it being a bad idea? Well, contrary to my opinion, Manowar managed to make an entire career out of doing so. And some really awful covers. Whilst all of their albums look more of less the same, this one particularly awful single shows the boys at their He-Man style best. And a group of women who look like they want to blow something other than Manowar's speakers. Probably wouldn't work in real life.
11 - Herbie Mann - Push Push
By all accounts, Herbie Mann was a pretty smashing jazz flautist. But he was not a handsome man. And this shouldn't have been allowed to happen. That's all I'm going to say.
10 - The Handsome Beasts - Beastiality
The fact that I've never heard of these guys before is probably all that's keeping this effort off the top spot.
9 - David Hasselhoff - Night Rocker
Ah, now this is what a real album cover is meant to look like. A real man rocking out, none of this beastiality nonsense. What, you don't like it? Eeehh, me neither, yeah, in fact, I was just about to put it at number 9 on the list. Yeah. I don't think it's cool or anything. Nope. Next?
8 - The Coup - Party Music
In fairness, this probably wouldn't have made the list. Unless, of course, it hadn't been designed in June 2001 and slated for release in October 2001. They did re-design it after the whole 9/11 thing though. Nice guys.
7 - Kevin Rowland - My Beauty
The former Dexy's Midnight Runners frontman actually performed at the 1999 Glastonbury and Reading festivals in the same get-up as he's wearing on this sleeve. Unsuprisingly, he was bottled off. He had balls at least. As you can see to my left.
6 - Michael Bolton - Michael Bolton
Add some leather, a perm, a hairy chest and constipation together to make this. Not very good.
5 - Millie Jackson - Back to the S__t
Absolutely no idea.
4 - The Rolling Stones - Dirty Work
Understandably, this album is seen as a low point for the Stones. In terms of band relations, album quality and colour coordination, this one never really got off the ground.
3 - Bee Gees - Life In a Tin Can
Watch you don't cut yourself on the sharp edges guys. Might get some of the night fever. Yip, that joke was almost as bad as this particular cover. Slightly nauseating and painful looking - and that's just Robin's shirt. Boom Boom!
2 - Prince - Purple Rain
I know it's a classic, but really, what the fudge is this?
1 - Prince - Lovesexy
The only man with the dubious distinction of having two entries in here has both numbers one and two. The fact that he looks like he's having a number two on this one doesn't help either. And the fact that it's Prince. Naked.
